Who else loves elephants? 🙋♀️🙋♂️
From Dumbo to the glorious Kashin at Auckland Zoo, Elephants have always held a special place in my heart.
They’re just supremely amazing creatures!
- Every day they eat from 250 to even as much as 500 or 600 pounds of food!
- Their mighty tusks can grow to be 200 or more pounds, each!
- They’ve got the smarts… even learning to respond to 50 or more instructions!
- And beat those gas price rises — you’ll get 20 miles from every daily methane burst!
Coolest of all…
Elephants purr like cats. 😸
(Don’t believe me? Just search for “elephant purring”.)
But they might not work out to be quite the live-in domestic companion our feline friends are.
I mean, if curling up on our knee like a cat is also their thing then death-avoidance could be the #1 challenge when homing one.
But… can you imagine the increase in our freelancing productivity if we could just borrow some cool elephant features?
I could sit at my desk… burning keyboard rubber… and when hunger strikes?
No need to move my hands an inch from pursuing their writing payday mission.
Instead…
Go go gadget trunk!
Trunk extends… trunk swivels… trunk grabs sandwich from plate beside desk… trunk stuffs it in mouth.
🥪🐘
And a handy office bathtub of water is all you need for trunk-delivered liquid refreshments.
(Although, maybe one shower room in the house is enough.)
A trunk really should be standard issue for any freelancer with productivity goals on their mind!
[And here’s where I decided I better just leave out the bit about elephant defecation. Not because it’s a 💩 topic… I just couldn’t contort my logic enough to make it work here! Happy to include it another time upon request, though!]
Ahem…
Along with being a time for revering everyone’s — I said: EVERYONE’S!! — favorite pachyderm…
Today is also a special day here in the office of proboscis enhancement…
Because it’s the one month anniversary of this here daily email adventure. (Actually one month and one day.)
And because there’s a national day, month, year, decade for just about any reason under the sun…
Therefore I declare that today, 22 September, marks the inaugural annual celebration of:
Not quite a cake and candles moment. (What DO you do for a one monther?)
Well… since it’s also National Elephant Appreciation Day, let’s combine!
Here’s a “you’ll go all goo-goo” elephants video:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J8O9_ugpDjE
The wisdom is to end on a song…
But my voice comes out all muffled-like via email (do you get that too?)
So I’ll end on a joke instead…
Well… I already kinda ended my email above… so how about we “P.S.” on a joke?
To help, I thought I’d ask everyone’s new “bestie”, ChatGPT, to lend a hand.
**Prompt: **
“Tell me the best joke ever about an elephant”
And… wow!
It gave me the most amayyy-zing-est, funnest, side-splitting-est joke ever!
Wanna hear it?
You sure?
You might split your sides!
(Especially if you’re like me and your pants keep shrinking every time they’re washed 🤔)
Ready?
Sure?
Take it away ChatGPT…
“Why don’t elephants use computers?”
Why? (Ooo, this is gonna be good…)
…
“Because they’re afraid of the mouse!”
🤨
Uh… what?
THAT’S the “best joke ever about an elephant”?
Elephants everywhere are insulted!
This has to be a mistake. Surely there’s a better one?
So… being the AI prompting expert that I am (chortle)… I clicked “Regenerate”.
10… more… times.
And…
Turns out the first one WAS ChatGPT’s best effort. Because I got the exact same joke…
Every… bloody… time!
Admittedly, ChatGPT was also getting bored by the 11th so it did manage to drivel out something new..
But… OMG… it SO needs to get some new material.
Number 11: “Why did the elephant bring a suitcase to the zoo?”
Why?
“Because he wanted to pack his trunk!”
🤦♂️
Give… me… strength.
And number 12?
You guessed it… back to it’s usual.
Although, it did TRY and pull a fast one… thinking it could just slip in a “🐘😄” at the end to make it a whole new joke.
Sly dude. But… NO!
All that ChatGPT can offer is these NOT funny ones.
(You’re most welcome to chortle away if they work for you. The rest of us will just peer at you strangely).
So… perhaps next time you’re telling a joke… spare a thought for the elephants…
Because jokes about them are always SO short!
It really isn’t fair when they’re trunk-ated like that. 😐
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Chris Milham