I’m supposed to be on holiday.

Why am I awake at… (fumbles for phone)… 6:02am?!

COO! … COO! 

What the—

Ninja-like I slip out of bed. Not wanting to disturb the sleeping beauty beside me. (Who would sleep on through a Category 5 hurricane it would seem!)

I opened the window. Couldn’t see much.

Once again

COO! … COO! 

Ahh. There!

On the path below the little feathered blighters had assembled.

Loitering like a bunch of drunk hooligans. There just to make a ruckus.

As they shuffled around akwardly on their stumpy legs…

I wondered: Of all places, why did those doves have to pick the path outside MY window?

So much for being symbols of peace.

They robbed me blind of whatever peaceful sleep could have been mine! (No, not bitter!)

I drew a deep breath. About to let rip with an almighty

“SHOO! GET OUTTA HERE!” 

But caught myself.

I noticed the neighbor’s bedroom window was ajar.

Obviously they were deeper sleepers than me. Or there’d have been two sets of fists being shaken at the flock of doom.

I decided that a tirade from the window above them wouldn’t be the best for good neighbor relations. (Especially since they were my in-laws’ neighbors!)

So I desisted.

It seems I’m not the best at coming up with solutions for encouraging noisy birds to naff off…

But helping someone who’s feeling stuck with starting or growing their email list…

That’s my jam!