“He looks like Uncle Fester!” exclaimed Leah, my youngest daughter, while stabbing a finger toward my head.
“O my gosh, yes!” chimed in Sarah, our middle child… choking back a laugh.
“Oh, no!” sighed Vicki…
Who was just returning home to once again take up the role of Chris’s horrified wife… as she discovered the havoc wreaked upon her husband’s head.
“It was inevitable!” I protested, “Do you think I like going around freezing my scalp off?”
They didn’t believe me. They thought it was just another one of dad’s “hair-brained stunts.”
They’d be wrong.
It was inevitable.
Well… it was inevitable with the particular electric razor I was using.
You see…
A year or so back, I got into the swing of cutting my own hair.
(Yes… it can be done. If you hold your tongue the right way. And don’t look TOO closely at the finished product.)
I was using an electric trimmer that I’d had for years and years. It had done a stellar job of trimming my beard.
Then, more recently, I helped it set its sights a little higher. 😜
And all was fine…
Except for the stupid “Number Two” plastic guide-comb thing.
A few weeks back the side of it fell off. It was old.
But, kiwi ingenuity to the rescue…
With a bit of Power Tack-like stuff we call “Blu Tack” (it’s… ahhh… blue!) …
I mashed the plastic guide comb back onto the metal head of the electric trimmer.
Sweet! That’ll work just fine.
Just have to keep an eye on it. So it doesn’t slip.
This plan worked fine for the first few trims.
Then today rolled around.
I did the usual routine…
Got out the trimmer. Laid out towels to catch falling hair. And my mini trimmer was on standby for touch-ups.
But I’d become a little too complacent.
So as I merrily went up and down the back and side of my head…
I kinda forgot to keep an eye on the comb.
It didn’t take more than a stroke or two before it had slid so far from it’s usual position…
And tore its tragic path of destruction through my luscious locks.
I knew wifey would be… ahh… unimpressed. But…
Chris knew there was nothing else for it.
A few minutes later. There was nothing more than stubble left on my head.
But then the beard was looking rather unbalanced.
Oh well…
Off it came!
Then one of those curious thoughts exploded its way into my cerebral cortex.
You know? … those once-in-a-lifetime, epic-brainwave type thoughts? …
“I wonder what it’s like to have no hair?”
I reasoned… there was only a fraction of an inch worth of stubble left anyway. So wouldn’t look too much different.
So… out came the Gilette Mach3+ razor.
The result is… according to my family’s assessment…
“All together ooky!”
Despite the now brilliant white glow from the head-shaped lightbulb upon my neck…
And the comments from those who are supposed to love me NO MATTER WHAT I LOOK LIKE 😂…
It just goes to show that any real-life snafu… or even something more run-of-the-mill…
Can serve rather nicely as a daily email.
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Chris “just the moon and me” Milham