March 4th, 2021. A day etched in my mind forever.
I was driving from our home in the country. Heading to the city for a morning meeting.
It was for a committee where I was the new representative from our Presbytery Council.
I was working as a pastor at the time. I job I was called to. And loved.
The previous year had been more intense than usual. What with covid stuff… difficult change-process things going on… and challenging situations with people.
So as I arrived at the half-way mark that day, the feeling of intense overwhelm enveloped me.
And I simply couldn’t stomp it back down as usual.
The voice from inside came…
“I can’t do this.”
The thing was…
I just couldn’t handle learning a whole new area. Meeting a whole new bunch of people. Having whole new responsibilities.
I had no capacity left to accomodate them. None.
That was the day I stopped. Or, intended to stop for a break.
It was another 6 weeks of me getting things in shape for handing over to the team who would do my role.
I just maintained a holding pattern.
But by the end of 6 weeks, the fuel had well and truly run out.
And this plane simply dropped from the sky.
The intent was sick leave. Then return when I was better.
But circumstances changed. And the end of 2021 saw me exploring “what next?”
I might have avoided what happened.
Perhaps with extra skills, experience, and wisdom. Along with different people and circumstances… things may have been different.
But I’d not be writing this email today if that experience hadn’t happened.
🤔
I did learn through all this that being a “superman”…
Trying to be someone who can do it all… and more…
Doesn’t end up a happy story.
After all… humans are from Earth. Not Krypton.
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Chris Milham