Yesterday I was looking for an alternative to the saying, “many ways to skin a cat.”
I use phrases like this… including my all-time-favorite, “kill two birds with one stone,”… ALL THE FREAKING TIME!
I grew up with them. And they’re kinda ingrained.
But I was still interested to see if I could broaden my library of phrases. So I had some alternatives to call on from time to time.
Preferably, ones that DIDN’T involve as much violent animal bloodshed!
In my search, I came across a website with some suggestions: “The Animal Rights Action Site.”
With the tagline, “Animal Rights, Vegan Lifestyle, and Philosophy.”
“Right,” I thought, “this’ll probaby plant some good alternatives in my head.”
For their suggestion of what to replace “kill two birds with one stone” with, they had things like…
…Feeding two birds with one scone.
…Cut two carrots with one knife.
…Feed two birds from one hand.
Not quite as snappy as the original. But I guess I like “Feed two birds from one hand” best of the three.
When I came to the, “There’s many ways to skin a cat” alternative…
I JUST ABOUT WET MYSELF!
The first suggestions of “There are many ways to climb a tree” and “There are many ways to skin an eggplant” didn’t raise any eyebrows.
But the third one… which to American ears might sound just fine…
Left a rather DIFFERENT ring in mine.
The suggestion was…
“There are many ways to eat a kiwi”
Now, I’m from New Zealand.
Here, and in Australia, we know them as “kiwifruit.”
With good reason.
Because “kiwi” has different meanings.
Both which will make any New Zealander’s jaw drop who reads this website. Or at least have a jolly good chuckle like I did.
You see…
A “kiwi” is an endangered flightless bird. Native to New Zealand. And in fact an icon of our country.
Very much illegal to hunt and slap onto the grill.
And a “kiwi” is also a person from New Zealand.
I’m a kiwi. My wife’s a kiwi. My kids are kiwis.
So the suggestion of…
“There are many ways to EAT A KIWI”
Is NOT quite what I’d expect from an “Animal Rights” and “Vegan Lifestyle” website!!