Last Christmas Eve I was still focused on freelancing. And writing about it for my daily emails.

So had a little freelancing Christmas fun with the email I sent then.

This year I’ve rejigged it for email marketing. Just ‘cos!

And am quite pleased with the result.

Hope you enjoy this as much as I enjoyed playing around with the words. 😁

Oh… and…

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Here goes…

‘Twas the night before launch, yet frantic at work,
An emailer like me, just going berserk.
Wond’ring: would I finish the campaign on time?
“This is hopeless. Impossible,” I started to whine.

Frantically typing. There’s no time to slow.
So fast that a gasket might suddenly blow.
Coffee was brewing, the smell so divine.
Chocolate on standby. And might need some wine.

When pings stirred my phone, it started a’beeping.
What? At this hour? I thought everyone’s sleeping!
Swiped to unlock. What could be all the fuss?
A Slack group invite… is this one for us?

The app I did open, to my great delight.
I wasn’t the only one freaking out tonight.
But excitement was brewing; it was perfectly clear
That the end of my troubles might finally be near.

For into the chat a message did spring,
It was cryptic as hell, but some bells it did ring.
Who is it? Can’t tell; it’s not very clear,
But their avatar shows them full of Christmas cheer.

“Now business owners, listen up, my dear friends,
Your launch is approaching; this is how we will send.
Subscriber ‘wows!’ are coming, as sure as can be.
Just wait a short minute and you will soon see.”

With doubt in my mind, I asked with a bellow,
“Does anyone know who on earth is this fellow?
He chats up a storm with delusions like these.
Does he not know subscribers are so hard to please!”

“Simmer down,” said my friend. “He’s not one to beguile;
The date on his profile states: ‘There for a while.’
That just won’t do! So I looked for more proof.
Surely us email pros need a sprinkling of truth?

With a click to his website and a poke all around,
And reading his pages, there was lots to be found.
5-stars. Raving feedback—there just was no lack.
This guy knew his stuff; and a fact is a fact.

Let’s start up a Zoom call; we really must learn,
All we can from this master—there’s no time to burn!
With marketing frenzy, I emailed my list.
The word blasted out: “This is not to be missed!”

Webcams were polished; all clothing now on.
This must be the best; I can’t get this wrong!
I waited and chatted; caffeine downed by the cup—
‘Twas the hours before midnight when he finally showed up.

He was chubby and plump, a right jolly old dude,
And I laughed when I saw him (didn’t mean to be rude). I crouched in silence; missing words was my fear—
But with knowing, wise eyes, he stroked his snowy white beard.

He spoke not a word but went straight to his work,
Crafting emails that wowed, without being a jerk.
Pausing only for coffee and to let his cat in,
Then giving a nod, smashed out campaigns with a grin.

“There! It’s all done. Can you see it now clear?
Confidence is my trick; there’s no more to share.”
With my courage now bolstered and soul full of delight,
Came his parting words: “Go email your subscribers… and do it tonight!”